I just love it when wealthy zealots tell people to go to hell.

Enter this guy: David H. Murdock. He is the owner of Dole Food Company and many, many other privately held, highly profitable businesses.

He's 83, he's brilliantly wealthy and extra, extra healthy and he's on a mission to get us all to eat our veggies, or something like that. He's so obsessed with getting Americans healthy that he'll capitalize on just about any moment to address the issue. Case in point. According to the July 28th issue of the Wall Street Journal, in a recent, highly contentious contract negotiation, Mr. Murdock admonished the 67 year old, 245 pound business man sitting across from him for being so "fat". He advised the gentleman that "he should expect to die within 18 months" and not expect to perform the contract to completion because of his unhealthy ways. But then he went even further, as if that wasn't enough, and offered the man an incentive. Murdock agreed to add $100K to the contract value if the man would agree to drop a mere 60 pounds over the next year (which was whittled down to 30 lbs by the end of the discussion). And so it was agreed to and, get this, IT WAS ACTUALLY DRAFTED AND WRITTEN INTO THE CONTRACT TERMS!

Dang it! Now why couldn't I be in on contract negotiations like this? I love when wealthy zealots do stuff like this. And it is sooooo classic that people are willing to turn tricks to accommodate these guys for the almighty dollar. Well, I'm being a little disingenuous here. For $100K, there's very little I wouldn't do. Of course, that has caveats as well, but we'll leave it at that. Moving along. We're walking, we're walking....

Mr. Murdock's sort of obsession with the health and well being of his fellow man, woman, .....any other politically correct genderbender identification that you wish me to mention....., is the type of zealousness I'd hope people would embrace instead of these other hysterics with whom we live side by side. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who are hell bent on destroying America/Americans by any means possible with their hatred and their misplaced notions of religious directives - "kill the infidel". These people? The ones who proclaim a philosophy that clearly interrupts my notion of a peaceful and free existence on the same planet? Yes, well those people are flat out lunatics. Mr. Murdock, on the other hand, slightly off, but lovable nonetheless because he's like a big, overbearing, and need I say, very wealthy father who just wants the kids to grow up "strong like bull."

The world needs more people like Mr. Murdock. The ones who are so ridiculously wealthy and so close to life's finish line they can actually see the tape and could give a rat's ass about being politically correct. Because when these people have their epiphanies, sometimes they really make sense. Who wouldn't want to eat better, live longer and enjoy being your ideal weight such that one is able to see one's shoes when looking down at one's feet. It's common sense, people. And Americans, look around you. We are getting huge. Which is why I believe the other fanatical loonies who fly planes into skyscrapers to send their "religious messages" make this decision from a vantage point that has little bearing on any substantial life experience of theirs. They are typically too young (18-44) to have lived long enough to decide for the rest of us what's wrong with the world. And perhaps, that is yet another reason why Mr. Murdock's advice is so sound - he's actually had these tangible life experiences after 83 years of living to know that what he proclaims has a modicum of truth to it.